You're The Antidote To Everything
by GallifreyGleek
Summary: Sam has always had trouble sleeping. When Dean comes back from the pit, Sam finds that he might not be the only one who can't sleep anymore. (Post Season Three Finale)


Sam had never had the opportunity to sleep a whole night without something waking him up. Most of the time, the reasons for which he'd wake up panting in the middle of the night had come from his very vivid and terrifying dreams, nightmares, premonitions (like Jess') or just loud noises that kept him up and restless during the night.

Nevertheless, he really felt grateful for those times whatever had woken him up had been Dean or his dad coming back from a hunt, drunk on adrenaline, smelling like ashes and salt. When his dad had died, Sam had become used to waking up in the middle of the night to a missing Dean; or a drunken Dean. Or to a bloody, scared shitless and yet smiling Dean. "Patch me up, Sammy." He'd whisper at him with that half-grin of his, so full of himself even though he was bleeding through his t-shirt and smelled like something had died on top of him- Hell, something probably diddie on top of him at some point. "If you think I'm fucked up, you should see the other guy."

During four months, though, he had missed waking up to Dean, period. When Dean was dragged to the Pit by hellhounds, Sam hadn't slept. At all. He had managed to take a nap here and there, Ruby had insisted on it; but he was literally unable to sleep without the presence of his brother on a bed next to him. Even asking for a bedroom with a single bed pained him, so he didn't, because he kept hoping Dean showed up in the middle of the night, calling out: "Wake the hell up, Sammy, if you don't patch me up I'm going to bleed to death."

The first night Dean came back from hell, he didn't sleep either. He couldn't help but roll around in bed, restless and terrified that something would tear his brother to shreds right in front of him again. So he decided to stand up and pace around the room, breathing heavily and watching his brother's silhouette move lightly beneath the covers. When he heard his brother's voice break and all of a sudden a gut-wrenching sob filled the room, he quickly sat down on Dean's bed and removed the covers frantically, calling out to him.

"Sammy." Dean sobbed, tears rolling down his face and his eyes showing a terrified glint. Sam grabbed his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "Sammy." Dean repeated, as if it was the only word he knew how to pronounce anymore.

"I'm here, Dean. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Sam whispered, not breaking eye contact for even a second. He felt his brother's frame relax against his big hands, his body not trembling anymore but shuddering, as if the room had gone below zero temperature all of a sudden.

"Dean, you're freezing." He whispered, and without thinking he grabbed his brother's body and hauled him up towards himself, covering him up with an embrace.

"Sam, I can't-" Dean panted, and grabbed at Sam's back with such strength that Sam thought he'd tear the fabric of his t-shirt. "Please."

"Shhhh, it's okay." He laid him down on the bed and scooted in himself, grabbing the covers and placing them atop of their bodies, reaching again for his brother and cocooning him in his arms, resting Dean's head on top of his chest. "Dean, you're here with me. Nothing's going to hurt you now. Not if I can help it."

"I can't stop listening to the screams. Sammy, I called out for you and you couldn't save me. I knew it but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop screaming your name."

Sam was doing his best not to cry, but apparently that wasn't enough since he felt himself trembling and grinding his teeth together. "I tried-"

"Sam, no. I know you probably tried to sell your soul. Or even your body for parts, I know. But for some reason I am here now and I. I can't sleep. Stay with me, Sammy. Please." Dean didn't let him say another word, because he hugged him tightly and pressed his head hard against his chest, listening intently to Sam's heartbeat.

So now Sam wakes up in the middle of the night to a sobbing Dean. Sam would climb into Dean's bed, grab him and place him atop of his body so Dean can hear his heartbeat and hug him like a pillow. Nobody says anything, and they keep asking for two single beds whenever they change motels, but all Dean has to do is whisper "Sammy" and Sam's no longer able to sleep in his bed. Now, his reason for waking up in the middle of the night is helping out his brother, using his heartbeat to lull him back to sleep.

And… to be honest? He doesn't mind at all.


End file.
